"Gallows humor" - my favorite. 
I don't think there is any good insurance any more - just varying degrees of bad.... 
The best had to be the "physical" I got entering the Marines during Vietnam - I sat in a chair, and answered questions - height, weight, all the rest - pulse, etc., was totally made up - the doc just sat behind the desk and filled out a form with no contact with me whatsoever.
2 guys in boot camp were actually 4F and got out when they'd had enough - one had had polio, and one shoulder was smaller than the other, and the second had lost 4 toes to a lawn mower - both were released - the rest of us considered them "lucky".
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\'05 Limited Turbo Lite, (Silver, of course)4-wheel ABS, Sunroof, Spoiler, E&G Classic grill, K&N FIPK, BTG duals, rear lowered 1.5\", LED washer lights, $20 catch can, Aoogah horn, Weatherflectors, Sunroof Deflector, Fuzzy Dice, rear logo flames, rear pinstripe graphic, Gen3 Taillights, rear sway bar, hood struts, Strut bar.
Traded in \'02 Silver Touring Edition w/87,000 miles
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