My mods, in order of install:
BTG Strut Tower Brace
GoldLine lowering springs (1.5"F/2"R)
Tokico gas shocks
I plan on doing the Eibach front/rear anti-sways next to really tighten things up.
My recommendations based on the above: The BTG strut brace was sort of an impulse buy one day when I was at PT Tuning - what can I say???
. Did a decent job of tightening up the front end, which is nice. I lowered my car shortly thereafter because I didn't like the high stance and wanted that taken care of ASAP. A month later I couldn't deal with the bouncing so I added the Tokicos and the car rides just beautifully now. Definitely firmer, but very controlled.
It sounds to me like you might be wanting a slightly different approach (improved handling 1st, appearance 2nd), plus the very important need to keep your better half happy
If I'm right, then I would agree with R_K_GT that anti-sway bars front and rear should be the first move. They'll greatly reduce torsional flex in the body/chassis and tighten things up a lot. Then add the strut tower brace, then tires (I suggest the brace before the tires strictly from a financial viewpoint - $200 for the brace, $500 or more for tires). If you add lowering springs, do yourself (and your wife) a favor and have a set of Tokico, Koni, etc gas shocks installed at the same time.
My two cents anyway.