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How to change the oil in your PT Cruiser...

 
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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06 Nov 2003, 05:34 pm
Dedicated Cruiser
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Washington State, USA.
Posts: 2,525
Default How to change the oil in your PT Cruiser...

[u]Women</u>:

1) Pull into Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee, relax, and read the newspaper.

3) Fifteen minutes later, pay $25 and leave with a properly maintained Cruiser.



[u]Men</u>:

1) Go to NAPA Auto Parts and pay $30 for oil, filter, hand cleaner, scented tree air freshener, and numerous other items you realize you need.

2) Discover that your used oil collection container is full; take it to the recycling center.

3) Spend 20 minutes trying to locate your floor jack and jack stands; no luck.

4) Have a beer; you don't really need to jack up the Cruiser anyway.

5) Place used oil collection container under the engine.

6) Pull out socket wrench and socket; the 5th one you try is finally the correct size.

7) Unscrew oil drain plug.

8) Drop drain plug in oil splashing hot oil all over you (and the garage floor) in the process.

9) Wipe off face with dirty shop rag and sprinkle kitty litter on garage floor where oil splashed.

10) Have another beer while oil is draining.

11) Look 15 minutes for oil filter wrench; no luck.

12) Poke oil filter with a Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.

13) Wipe oil off of your arm with same dirty rag used in step 9; sprinkle more kitty litter on floor.

14) Buddy shows up; finish off 6-pack with him. Forget the oil change today--finish it tomorrow!

15) Next day, drag full oil collection container out from underneath the Cruiser.

16) Sprinkle more kitty litter on oil spilled during step 15.

17) Have a . . . wait, no beer left, drank it all yesterday!

18) Walk 2 miles to Corner Store; buy more beer.

19) Apply a thin coat of clean oil to gasket and install new oil filter.

20) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

21) Remember drain plug from step 8!

22) Scramble to find drain plug in oil collection container.

23) Hurry to replace drain plug before entire quart of fresh oil drains all over floor.

24) Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame; band head on floor board in reaction. [xx(]

25) Begin cussing fit and throw wrench across garage!

26) Clean up and apply Band-Aid to knuckles.

27) Sprinkle kitty litter on one entire quart of fresh oil now pooled under the Cruiser.

28) Have another beer.

29) Dump in remainder of oil into engine.

30) Realize that while you were under the Cruiser, it would have been a good time to grease everything, bleed the brakes, replace those dry-rotted body spacers, and find out where that hideous clanking noise is coming from.

31) Drive back to NAPA and buy another $150 worth of parts that either won't fit, will break when you try to install them, or will be saved for a later project (all of which will have long been misplaced by the time you are ready to start subject project).

32) Drive PT Cruiser (1-quart low of oil) for 7,000 miles; then return to Step 1... [B)] [:0] [?]
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Old 06 Nov 2003, 06:18 pm
Cool Cruiser
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: VA, USA.
Posts: 336
Default

haha, nice Gary.

Sadly I had a friend that moonlighted at JiffyLube for awhile and after hearing all the "oops, I forgot to put the oil plug back in" stories, I'm waaay too paranoid to take my baby there.
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Old 06 Nov 2003, 06:22 pm
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Location: Mississauga, ON, Canada.
Posts: 178
Default

Thats' funny
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Old 06 Nov 2003, 06:54 pm
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Location: Jacksonville, NC, USA.
Posts: 2,612
Default

That's really funny, but not funny when it happens. I've used my engine as a funnel to pour oil on my driveway at least once, anyone else?
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Old 06 Nov 2003, 07:33 pm
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Germantown, Maryland, USA.
Posts: 273
Default

It's been 15 years since I've had a car that I can actually change the oil and filter myself. I'm looking forward to doing "man" stuff!! I'll be sure to add the beer in there somewhere.

[8)]
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 06 Nov 2003, 08:26 pm
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,023
Default

Gonna take mine and have someone else do it, my disability doesn't allow me to do that anymore!!


[:X]
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Old 06 Nov 2003, 09:10 pm
Young Cruiser
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: The Woodlands, TX, USA.
Posts: 86
Default

I take mine to the local dealer with my Mobil 1 oil and K & N oil filter and they change it and do all the work for $10.60 - tax included. You get a dealer's invoice and your warranty book stamped. Now that's simple and easy.
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<b><font color=\"red\">2003 LT ALMOND GT</b></font id=\"red\">

<font color=\"blue\">MODS:</font id=\"blue\">

Stage I, Custom Pin Stripe, Rear Spoiler, BTG Polished Strut Tower Brace, Borla 2.5\" CAT Back Dual Exhaust, and AirAid Intake System, Polished Front & Rear Sill Plates, Chrome Antenna Bezel w/10\" Chrome Billet Antenna, Mobil 1 and K&N Gold Filter, \"Flame\" 3rd Brake Light, \"Streamline Design\" PT Cruiser Visor, Rear Shelf Graphics and Dash Dots on Steering Wheel, and MGW \"GT\" Auto Shift Knob,Chrome Door Lock Pulls, Chrome Billet A/C Knobs with Acrylic Red Inserts, Chrome Oil Cap, Chrome Dip Stick, Chrome Radio Knob, Blane\'s Hood Lift Kit. Chrome Raidiator Coolant Bottle Cover, Timing Belt Housing Cover, Shock Tower Covers w/Nuts, Power Brake CYL Cap Cover, Windshield Washer Cap Cover, A/C Line Connector Cap Covers, A/C Check Valve Cap Covers and Radiator Cap Cover. \"GT2\" Rolo Red Calipers, Magnecor 8.5mm Spark Plug Wires - Red, Red Wire Looms, Billet Aluminum Steering Wheel Caps (4), Chrome Coin Tray Trim Cover, Chrome Shifter Bezel Tirm Ring, Yoko AVID V4S - 215/50/70\'s, TYC Euro Style Back-up Lights, and Screamin Demon Coil
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Old 06 Nov 2003, 10:54 pm
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Default

Old and still untrue in my case
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