"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

[thegoldpt]

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all&! nbsp; over for the
bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me,
"Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery
to fit this?" "H! mmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked."No,
just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager wha! t had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander
on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy
button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

[quicksilverdon]

I read number 8 a while ago in a dumb criminals thread -
another I remember:
There was one where a robber went into a bank, hung around by a withdrawal slips counter, decided that bank was too well guarded, so went into another back, and handed a robbery note to the clerk - the clerk said it was written on a withdrawal slip from another bank, so they couldn't honor it, and the robber left with no money!

[Retro]

quote:THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

You mean this doesn't work?
[:I]I wondered why my order didn't come! No, actually this one makes me feel so good! I actually haven't done anything that stupid to my computer! ( lately) Now even I feel technically competent! You made my day, sweetie![8D]

These are hilarious! I've seen kids trying to make change waiting on us who just about fit some of these, too.[xx(]

[fritz_t_coyote]

quote:Originally posted by thegoldpt


SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager wha! t had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

Ahem:

http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/cruise.asp

Snopes is a great place to cash reality checks.