The squirrel and the Grasshopper.

[thegoldpt]

The squirrel and the Grasshopper.

*Two versions*

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

____________________THE END____________________

THE LIBERAL VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. CNN shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer while others have plenty. The Democratic Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The grasshopper Council demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.

CNN, with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Howard Dean rants in an interview with Jay Leno that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to buy nuts.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equality and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a free house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilizes it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to America as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of America's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon while in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.

The cats seek compensation in the courts for their treatment since arrival in US.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drug habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation department to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a

[strangelove]

Wow... does this mean that I'm a squirrel.[}]

[pt_tom]

quote:Originally posted by strangelove

Wow... does this mean that I'm a squirrel.[}]

Naw, just a nut

[strangelove]

Whats nuts is comparing animal survival of the fittist to human society. Now that's Nuts.[:I]

[pt_tom]

Jeez, I was just kidding.....