What do you expect from such simple creatures?
>
> Your last name stays put.
>
> The garage is all yours.
>
> Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>
> Chocolate is just another snack.
>
> You can be president.
>
> You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
>
> Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>
> The world is your urinal.
>
> You never drive to another gas station because this one's just
>too icky.
>
> Same work, more pay.
>
> Wrinkles add character.
>
> Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
>
> People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
>
> The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. (I
>think a nice fart fits in here also)
>
> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>
> One mood, ALL the time.
>
> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>
> You know stuff about gas tanks.
>
> A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>
> You can open all your own jars.
>
> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>
> If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
>friend.
>
> Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>
> Everything on your face stays its original color.
>
> Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
>
> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
>bolt.
>
> You almost never have strap problems in public.
>
> You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
>
> The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
>
> You don't have to shave below your neck.
>
> Your belly usually hides your big hips.
>
> One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
>
> You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
>
> You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>
> You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24,
>in 45 minutes.
>
> Ah!, What a life!!!

>